Daily thoughts

So, I put a bunch of stuff on my Simpleology list today, and I got less done than I put there, but I also pushed myself to do something I was avoiding, which was actually kind of fun, which was following up with someone from last week's party. I got that my not good enough was running the show, and nipped that in the bud.

I'm wanting the house I bid on, and having no idea what I would do with it. I think if I rented out two rooms (it pretends to be a four bedroom, but it's more like three, especially if the city decides it wants to ensure it's a one family), I could cover expenses and have a place to be when I am here. I suppose if I were really excited about it, and really wanted it, I would have bid more. But I'd be tickled if it leaned my way.

I should really have my list more in front of me. There are calls I could have made today that slipped away, two minute items that could have been done if I'd just reminded myself to.

I'm continuing to trim and delete though (we call it weeding), and I'm off more lists and have less in my in-boxes; so that's good.

I have written the past few days, just not here. In fact, I named my posts. They are Mary and Gary. I actually spoke with that lawyer again, and she seemed quite put together; perhaps the alcohol had something to do with where she was, or at least her expression of it.

And I've also rowed for three days, and ate too many potato chips, but we're almost out of too-tempting junk food here. I've eaten a portion of what I usually eat when mom's here. So I'm almost back to my pre-Shabbat weight, and that's good too.

And I can't keep my eyes open; so I won't. We're calling it bed time.

Good Night.

What's important is that I write. What's more is that I can get that I can do a lot more than I am doing when I set myself up better, or at least schedule so I have no other choice.

So I have gotten a lot done since I arrived. I created a new possibility of being connected. And I got to notice where other conversations got in the way. I went to the Fairfield County Bar party last night. I took my camera. Going in, I know that can be sketchy. People assume I am a photographer; a few already know I am not, but it leaves an impression. So I was quick to meet some people, but there were also plenty of moments where I was like everyone is in his own clique and not really interested in me. I pushed through that a few times.

We stayed two hours after, the first in the dining room, being very well entertained by one of our hosts. Then, they kicked us out, and I almost left, but we were going to reconvene at the bar, and I ended up there with three women a few years older than I. The guys must have gono out the back door, because they never made it to the bar. So the gals and I got to talking family and relationships, and divorce. And I made a difference.

I also connected with a few people this week about work, continuing two conversations I had started, and ending one.

I had great fun connecting with one of my WealthCounsel colleagues as well, and made it to Rabbi Derrin's Gemarra class this morning.

My diet has been ice-cream and bread free so far, though I have enjoyed some fruit and too many nuts.

I'm more peaceful here, and I don't know if it's because so much of my Israel life is not here, or because it's just damned quiet without mom at home. And it's not necessarily leaning into my fear, or discomfort, but I certainly have my doubts. Miriam and I are going to see a house in an hour. I'll give you the verdict on that one after Shabbat.

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Today, I wrote a bunch of comments on Lani's blog, with a special invitation to visit and comment on this post. I also journalled for me; so I start again, having missed a few days.

Today's topic is paint colors, and this post is specifically to solicit Sharleen's advice on the topic.

The bathroom

I'm liking this combination. I can take a picture of the ceramics if you want to see how this would work. The dark for the trim and mirror frame and cabinet, the lighter for the wall, white ceiling. I could go with an in-between gray for the cabinets themselves to keep the room from going too dark. What say you?

Bedroom

This swatch was my first thought. I really like the Cloudberry. But then I got to remembering that mom's favorite color is red, and I looked for something in line, perhaps a bit more dramatic, maybe even royal, so this is the next option I liked:

But it didn't seem red enough; so this:

The idea here is to use the red on the wall behind the bed, the angle swatch for the other walls, and the bottom for the trim. I'd love your thoughts. Maybe you can share them while I am rowing.

244.6

I'm having another blank screen problem here. Yesterday, I must have had three articles running in my head that wanted to come out, and for some reason leaned into the least inspiring of them.

I did not manage my time well. I have a handful of things that I wanted to get done before my flight on Tuesday, and one already will have to wait until next trip. There's peace to manage, and sometimes we just have to let the more mundane get in the way of the important, in this case, getting a part of a closet built trumping a legal instrument I wanted to have someone execute this evening.

I think I might be a little compulsive. The document was 96% complete yesterday, which means it got significant attention already, and I probably could have printed, adjusted, printed again and been done. But I didn't. Two hours later, and it's clear it won't be done this trip.

I've been avoiding too much of the important for the less important but somewhat urgent. And now I have concerns about the success of this trip, but I shouldn't. I can measure success in a number of ways, and have two back-up plans of sorts; so I should be okay.

Our calendars have not arrived, and it's not a good way for me to be starting 2020. And now I'm just so tired, and feeling fat. And that's that for today.

Yesterday's post came out political again. You can find it here: When Your Only Tool is a Hammer.

Just to follow up with a few new numbers: I was 114.9 before my workout, but that dropped to 113.1 after. I expect a good place to start is to drop the salty carbs. I'm not interested in seeing the north side of 114 ever again. Enough said on that, from here on out, I just include a number in my post.

I've so much else I want to write, and don't have in my schedule. There's a theme about people leaving other people because they love them, and nothing's wrong. Dr. Peterson has suggested if we had utopia, the first thing we'd do is break it. I think for some it's in that light.

The other is on repentance, the Jewish idea being that you don't really repent until you are faced with the same situation again and you choose differently. In my mind anyway, this is a part of what's missing in completing World War II.

Europe will not be whole again until it sees a proud, powerful, perhaps even unreasonable, nationalism that, when stressed, rises above blame and hate, war and genocide, to create something greater than we imagine.

Inside of this is a presumption that the world simply has more meaning when you have a personal stake in it by way of your own children. And for all the stress and loss of momentary pleasures, your individual outcome will be better if you have kids, as will your national outcome.

But proportions must also be maintained. It's the line between generosity and self-sacrifice. But you'll give yourself to something anyway. It might as well be something worthwhile, something with a future.