Categories: "Personal"

Hippity Bippity

Posted on Jul 14, 2024 by in Today

I sit down in front of the computer and just stall out. We heard about Trump toward the end of Shabbat; so I took a moment with that. I saw the Deif was supposedly eliminated: I listened to some news and Netanyahu's press conference on that. I watched a video of Vice Grip Garage checking out if a Chevy 350 engine was rebuildable. Then I saw a piece of another of his about a great old car he found.

I sent Manu a Happy Birthday wish.

I stopped at Neumeier, Ogle and Shankar on the way home. I came home and read a little, and tried to sleep, and went to Chabad because the sleep didn't really come. I did stay awake through all of Ostrovsky's shiur. There was an interesting note on Korach's rebellion, that this was actually a third iteration, and that is why they were swallowed up. These were transmigrated souls of those at Sodom, who recurred at Noach's time. The three ply cord sometimes is cut, and like that.

I am still not comfortable there. I did help them make the minyan, but Eddy showed up within a few minutes anyway so they would have had it anyway.

I have been sad. They say a person dies when his name is last uttered. So I have been keeping my grandfather on life support. His Birthday, and Yahrzeit were both last month.

I think tomorrow is garden day at the office.

End Week, New Week

Posted on Jul 12, 2024 by in Today

p>I have left myself a minimum of time to write. I've allowed myself to be distracted quite a bit this week. I have two or three new real estate clients. A settlement is finally coming through. I started another law suit against the City of Stamford today. I did not shoot, or windsurf. I did mow the lawn, attend three meetings.

I finally wrote a note to my cousin:

“Hello Dear Cousin:

“My mother tells me you have the same cancer that killed our Uncle Dietrich, advanced to a stage similar to that at which Dietrich was diagnosed.

“This does not mean you should have the same result, although it could end there. I want to recommend to you two books and a program.

“The first is the Mindful Body. Dr. Ellen Langer is a Harvard Psychologist and outlines how much our mental state is a factor in our health. Her mother beat a cancer no doctor expected here to. The health care system at the time didn't know how to take care of survivors. Her mother languished, the cancer came back a year later: it killed her.

“The second is Gnar Country. Steven Kotler is a flow junkie. Flow is a state we can engineer for ourselves, it can have a profound impact on health. His major flow activity was skiing, and he did at fifty something that most experts would have warned him away from in his thirties. “It couldn't be done, and if tried would end him in the hospital, or worse.” He didn't get hurt. He made his goal, and he accomplished a whole pile of other things at the same time.

“Which suggests the program. If you know your preferred flow activity, the one that puts you in a different place/space/experience of time, without drinking, You might want to pursue that, even if the world thinks you are nuts because you are "supposed to be" dealing with your cancer.

“If you don't know it, maybe make a plan to do all the things you had planned to in your life, in the next six months. Live the bucket list life in other words. And if you get better, you'll have spent six months really taking care of yourself. And if you don't, you'll at least know what you could accomplish when you are really under a deadline.

“And know we love you. And know that this can be beaten, and it might as well be beaten by you.”

I see some of the materials from the programs I have surveyed/started/dabbled in, and sometimes they energize me. There was a moment this week. It just let me see a little farther or wider, breath a bit deeper for a moment, and I should go there and just do it.

Maybe there's a breakdown I can declare there and find a breakthrough on the other side.

I said I want money, but then I wonder what it will give me. So maybe it's Jim Rohn's become a millionaire for what it will make out of you to do that.

And that ends this week's last recorded thought.

I love you. I worry about each and every one of you in a different way. I am here when you need me.

End Week, New Week. But will it really be? I guess that is for me to determine.

Freezing

Posted on Jul 10, 2024 by in Today

I was 246.6, when I noted this for my next post last night, even with the chips I've been working my way through in the office, a pound less tonight.

I tried again to do two things that needed my more complete attention at the same time. I had a seminar tonight. I also had a CCDL meeting. It wouldn't have been so bad if I had actually been able to connect the ear buds I bought yesterday to my phone, but I was futzing with that for more than an hour. Then, when people in the meeting were rambling, I had folks come to chat with me; so I took out the earbud for that as well.

I finally rowed again last night, not even enough to be ranking this season, I missed for a whole month. But we have a great challenge at its end and into August.

And then I had originally intended to sleep at the office, but Yakov said he's out for the weekend leaving tomorrow. I decided to come home so I can have a steak with him in the morning. I took the roast out a day or two ago. It will be usable tomorrow.

I need to talk to him about permission. I came in, and it was really not so sleep comfortable in here. So I turned on the A/C. He should have done that for himself.

Talking about air conditioning, I bought some parts for mine at the office. My compressor isn't kicking in. The switch box to disconnect it didn't. I am glad I gathered that before I touched the wrong wire. It's 240 Volts. Both the switch box and the motor capacitor are both on the way. It's a twelve year old capacitor, but I don't know how long it has been in service. It is a cheap enough experiment to try in the new capacitor.

I will let you know how that played out next week.

and a safe trip

Posted on Jul 8, 2024 by in Today

We were speaking about “pride.” Yakov mentioned that it is the other side of shame. Seems to me we could cover this on father's and mother's days: just move the apostrophe one letter to the right and acknowledge that some people have two “parents” of the same sex, even though only one, maximally, could be the biological parent.

It is a far cry from that to homosexual porn for children.

Anyway, I had a nice time. I just think we should take sex out of the classrooms and the public spaces.

I am outnumbered here though, I think.

Have a safe trip home. I look forward to seeing you for the holidays.

Have fun . . .

Posted on Jul 2, 2024 by in Today

I think the thing about distraction is that one needs a thing that one is going toward that is so compelling the additional click is just not an attraction.

We had a summer party yesterday that turned into Yakov's engagement party. Certain people were late; so we didn't have as much time with them.

Other people came, and that was nice. The house is a little neater than it has been.

I am now officially up ten pounds (252.8 this morning) on my pre-visit weight. I think it is time to go full-on carnivore, Then I might actually fit into the tux again that I wore at my wedding for Yakov's wedding.

I was accused of being passive-aggressive. So let's start with the definition (another click too many):

pas·sive-ag·gres·sive ˈpa-siv-ə-ˈgre-siv
being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness)

Merriam Webster: passive-aggressive (another click too many, as I went to confirm the coding for definition lists, and probably won't be happy how this renders in my site skin anyway). This was about the previous list I'd made up.

So since making the list was already in the realm of the aggressive, I think I should go full-on aggressive.

next day analysis

But day passing on to day, new information comes to light that reminds me of my youthful insecure self. I was home one Thanksgiving—the rest of the family was not—and the water heater went. I did nothing to fix it because I was sure I would do the wrong thing.

So I wonder if the paralysis I see around me isn't another version of that. Someone couldn't reach me today about certain dinner preparations, so he went sideways instead of just using what was already out for dinner and just making it his own damned way.

Sure I grouse about shit, but so what? It's not like there isn't another chicken. I am more annoyed by coming home and having everything exactly where I left it, as if my annoyance should be the goad to action in either direction.

So is it a passive/aggressive list, or could you just say “Thanks for the to do list; I wasn't sure what you wanted. Now I know.” Or are they even connected. Maybe it is a full-on resentment, disappointment, aggravation filled shit list generated for no other purpose than to annoy, nettle, and get a rise out of you. Would your life look better or worse for you taking it on, for having control of your environment, for bringing beauty to your surroundings?

Sometimes the best revenge is not letting the other person get under your skin. If it really were the asker's purpose to torture you, how much more would you annoy that person if you did the whole list with grace and a smile on your face, and enjoying the doing and the result?

This is why we gave you the tools of Landmark. You can choose how you be with things. I need to get on with my day. I leave you with a thought to ponder: “one of the things that will make misery hell is ingratitude.” The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast, Truth and Adventure as an Antidote to Suffering | Douglas Murray, Jul 20, 2023, at 15:55. I started listening to it again as it crossed my feed. It's good.

The blessing: May you find the thing that puts the fire in your belly. Even better, may you take the thing in front of you and find a way to ignite yourself to the doing of that thing in a superlative manner.

And if you find it was stupid or an unfruitful path, may you get that quickly and make sure you pull what lesson you can out of the situation and arrange your world so you never have to do that again. And I can nuance this, but you get the major point.

Bring gratitude to what you have. Bring joy to the things you have to do. Feel free to play and make mistakes, and get that those are just opportunities to grow and learn. I think I've said it previously “have fun, and learn something.”

Love you.