So it has been an odd day with Charlie's death yesterday. It mostly makes me angry. I ended up changing my campaign poster. You see that above.

I remember where I was that day, but don't have a vivid recollection of the moment. I was home. I picked up Yaakov from school. Lani certainly existed, but I don't have any recollection where he was. I do remember walking with Yakov in Riverside Park. We met a couple there who was there with their daughter, no one we knew from before, just someone to share the shock with.

I was in shul this evening and had the thought “the only thing worse than a child who breaks your heart is never actually having children.” I suppose this occurred to me because I had had a conversation with Dahlia not long before that and asked if Evana was pregnant. Dahlia tells me they are waiting until they are “more settled,” which means into their 30s.

I expressed concern about the drop in fertility. What I just looked up isn't as bad as Jordan has related, but it does drop. But I just don't get it. Why else get married if you don't have some religious conviction about it?

Pregnancy issues and kid issues also go up as you wait. Add to that diet issues, which a carb centered diet with meat flavoring will create, and I just don't get it.

Yakov, You have a ton. You have a great start. Having kids is never everything you expected, and so much more than one can imagine. You are just being too damned careful again. It's the summer of 2017 again. It's like you are preparing for the psychometri and missing your life.

It's just so sad.

And maybe I'm imposing my value system on your life which I don't know, but it seems to me you are putting the adventure of a lifetime at risk.

And it is so sad about Charlie Kirk. And there is a lot of other sadness in the world. And there is a stack of my fliers to get stuck to telephone posts tomorrow/today.

But I am losing weight, I think, and killing bees, but they're not all dead. And now I want to replace windows as I fix the front of my house.

I have a new client. This in the realm of the gift of kids. A friend of mine is gifting wills to her daughter and son-in-law for their paper anniversary. I just find it so cute, and who else could appreciate that like a daughter.