So I have left myself a scant half hour to write, which is sad. I can always write more later, but I probably won't. I am meeting a potential client today, probably, but probably not much potential there. I spoke to a prior lawyer on the matter and am informed that the family believes that some member of the family made good money on a wrongful death action on behalf of a deceased, and the rest want their part, only there never was an action brought, and there were no probate court filings that reflected any settlement.

So I left the prospect a message that he could come visit at 11:00. I am not interested in putting more effort into him.

More importantly, I have used all the letters, granted one J is now upside down as punctuation, an i is used for a y, and an h is missing. I thought to place a small gap before the last T as then one could read “trust” or “truth,” both of which I would say are worth one's effort to beget. This started as my farewell message to Yakov for yesterday morning, but then he was up and I rearranged the letters, and most of the words were not so much fun. So I made a new message. It's better to put good things into the universe.

I am still down on myself for not having replaced the bandage. It is taking an annoyingly long time for the tip of my finger to grow back in, and the bit that fell off seemed to be reintegrating, but then it fell off, and I couldn't find it the next morning, by which time it was probably too late anyway, unless it had just fallen off from my scratching myself in the moments before waking. I am going to swing by Oma's after synagogue to grab a butterfly bandage to coax the two sides back together. I have been good about keeping it soft with Dr. Bonner's UNSCENTED ORGANIC MAGIC BALM. I am also very happy that we spent the 98 cents, before tax, for the two boxes of bandages on the clearance shelf of Stop & Shop.

I also am not happy that I didn't form a plan to be at the wedding. There are Jews in Morristown. I could have found a place for Shabbat and made it to the venue for the wedding. Shabbat was out at 6:45. I could have also made it down before dessert. Apparently they were only getting to the first dance around 7:30. I didn't really think about it until later.

The roast I made for Shabbat, it's even better cold. It's what they call Prime. It is actually fattier than that, good marbling, a nice chunk of fat on the side, downright delicious cold. I had taken a roast, and cut it in half because it was so big. One half I kept taking out to see if it was done. That was the one I served. It was too red for Mom and Miriam. Yakov and I had no problem.

The piece that went in and out of the oven so I could check if it was done is the one we ate. At some point in time, we had to end the meat cooking phase anyway to put in the challot. I should have used the other piece. Sitting in the oven without the in and out, it was more cooked. It, and it was the bigger piece, is half gone.

Yakov starts his new job tomorrow soon. It will be soon.

He says I didn't miss too much, and if I'd come later, I might have caught an hour as it wrapped pretty early.

And the half hour has turned into a day.

My client never came. I didn't have the right screws to attach the new carburetor to the leaf blower. I went to mom's house this morning. I collected wood. This week's agon is to make a camp fire. Source of wood was not discussed, so I collected at mom's house.

Then I went to pick up my saw at Cesar's. So I decided to clean up the cabinet it stands on first. The primer hasn't dried yet. I have two lamps (incandescent) providing heat so that it can, but it wasn't so could that it should not have; at least that is what I would have thought. Only one of the three cans of primer worked (I am still on Necaterra supply).

Luckily, it is the one I started with. To my misfortune, it was just shy of the amount I needed. So I futzed with the others. I got a momentary squirt from one, but they seem to be stopped without much chance of accessing what is inside in the manner in which they are designed to be accessed.

Yakov and I ate. I went to the cemetery tour. It was okay, but I am glad it was sold out and I could not get a ticket for Yakov.

I came home. We made Brussels Sprouts, and ate more.

In sum, few leaves were moved, no wood was cut, no fire was made, and though it is only a few minutes past nine, it feels like bed time. So this is what it will be. We did do some laundry.

last thought

I woke up this morning with a little time, but not knowing what I am doing and what for. I did have various plans as you saw, and others. I also thought I might get up the lower rack in the closet to get that project done.

It just doesn't feel like it adds up to anything. And I was at the old potter's field, one of several in town, dedicated by Dannell Malloy, and it just made me remember that I wanted to run against him, but only really looked into it in the last few days and would have had to get 270 or so signatures in a day, and I talked myself out of it. I wouldn't have had much of a chance against an insider in a mostly blue city, but I'd have been in the game.

So what occurred to me was that if I could go back and impress one thing upon myself, I think it would be to learn to schedule and let that give me power.

The other thing would be to really let myself fail by really putting myself in the game, in which case I wouldn't be failing because I'd be playing. It is not enough. It never is. Don't be that way.

p.s. I thought that axia was a plural of axiom, but I forgot my Latin. One uses the a ending with words that end um, as in atria being the plural of atrium. In the case of axiom, the proper plural is axiomata. Axia can be a moth genus in the family Cimeliidae, or a worm genus in the family Macrostomidae, or an ancient Roman family, but that's just a proper name: none of these are things so easy for you to beget, at least in this iteration, so instead of leaving that confusion, I have added more letters than I actually had, particularly an o, an m, an a and a t. I am sure you will be able to survive this, as will I.

Have a Great Week. Be Careful. I love You.