Some ideas are clearer in your head than they seem to come out on paper, or in writing as the case may be, so many of us having given up paper, most of the time anyway.

This post is about asking better questions. Looking at my own life, a few come to mind, most as a result of not asking them when it would have been wise to:

1. Question asked/implied: How come I am so different?
2. Better Question: What could I do to engage with the people?

1. Question asked/implied: What's in it for me?
2. Better Question: How could I add value in this situation?

1. Question asked/implied: How did I screw up?
2. Better Question: How can I take responsibility so that the next time around will be better?

1. Commitment implied: You're not going to tell me what to do.
2. Better Question: What wisdom can I draw from your words?

1. Question asked/implied: Why am I so awkward?
2. Better Question: What could I do to show up today more gracefully?

1. Question asked/implied: Why am I so alone?
2. Better Question: What could I do to be a friend?

1. Question asked/implied: What kind of a fuck-up am I?
2. Better Question: What could I do to be make a better decision next time?

1. Question asked/implied: How do I hide my incompetence?
2. Better Question: Where can I get help? Whom will I ask? By when?

1. Question asked/implied: What will they think of me?
2. Better Question: Why should I care?

1. Question asked/implied: What if I make a mistake?
2. Better Question: What is the impact of me not taking the action?

1. Question asked/implied: How could anyone love me?
2. Better Questions: What is available, for both the other person and myself, with letting someone love me?

1. Question asked/implied: How could anyone love me?
2. Better Question: How could I love someone back?

1. Question asked/implied: How could anyone love me?
2. Better Question: Who cares why? How can I bring joy/love/play to whatever this is?

1. Question asked/implied: How could anyone love me?
2. Better Question: How dare I ask this question? It's not mine to ask or answer.

1. Question asked/implied: Why am I such a freak?
2. Better Question: How can I use my freak to my advantage?

1. Question asked/implied: Why am I such a freak?
2. Better Question: Who could use my freak to have a better life today?

1. Question asked/implied: Why am I so lost?
2. Better Question: What can I find in this wilderness?

1. Question asked/implied: Why are my parents such a pain in the ass?
2. Better Question: What gift are my parents trying to give me, if I would only take them?

So what brings this about? My youngest child mostly. I asked him to watch a video the other day, Jim Rohn's Best Year Ever. He watched about an hour, and commented that it was pointed more to people of a particular age, meaning older, which I took to mean “not really him.”

And I, and this is probably Landmark inspired, but I haven't been in a Landmakr program in a while, but it's a part of me by now I guess, but it's not extraordinary either, thought to myself you get what you look for.

If you are looking for ways this is not about or for you, you will find them. If instead you take on that someone who loves you is giving you a gift of immeasurable value for your life if you only put a little of yourself into it, and life is too short to not put a little of yourself into it, you might ask instead: “How can I become wiser than my age would suggest in this moment?” “How can I use this to make a beautiful life for myself today?” “How can I set the sail, so to speak, to take me on the best possible journey, especially given where I am starting?” “How can I bring joy and love and happiness to my world today?”

And you might still have a shitty day, and you might still be angry, or depressed, but maybe you might also be able to grasp onto something as the thing that you got from this day, or that you created with someone else this day.

And maybe you'll have so many days like this, days you just put a smile on someone else's face, that you'll forget why you might have been sad, or angry, or tired at the beginning of this day, or age, or era.

Maybe just: “What's one thing I could do today to make today better than yesterday, and set up tomorrow to be better than today?”