Daily thoughts

I need to stop being up. I need to reset the default so that this is not what I am doing.

I tried to resurrect my sour dough starter. It had a black layer on top, but had also dried out significantly.

I bought black switches and outlets this week.

I lost. It was a crappy day for election results. But the races are so small. I got 41 votes. My Democratic winner got 230 or so. The point is one only needs to turn 96 or so to win.

There are those moments that make the time in between bearable, and there is missing them. This was a note about Sunday. For some reason, I thought a KA thing was next Sunday, but then on Sunday morning I realized that couldn't be right. And I checked, and I realized it was yesterday and not next week, and I missed it. And it was a rare opportunity because it was impromptu on a day not usually done (to wit Sunday and not Saturday). And there are long stretches of unbearable, and that might have been the light moment in between. I could have gotten up at three instead of gone to bed then, and been in Philly for the festivities.

But mom had called, and I went there, a little bummed I had not thought to go where I wanted. It was nice to play a game or two with mom.

And to not make the day feel lost, I chose to campaign some. My stuff keeps getting torn off the telephone poles. The old notices for concerts and tag sales, and the lost dog spam, they stay there, but my stuff is removed, over and over. It probably doesn't help that I have a “The Road to Hell is Paved by Democrats” piece, but that shouldn't matter.

I got out, I had some conversations, first with Serena, then with her sister Gloria and two older blokes. Then I went to pray, and was late, which is too usual for me. Then I put more stuff up in a neighborhood I hadn't visited yet.

So I did create some of the moments in between, which were other moments than those that would have been in Philly.

I am unhappy with my painter. I may let him finish this job, but he will not continue to the others I wanted done. I will ask Faruk for his guys again.

What We Put in to the World

It is a Landmarkism, but the idea is if we look at our results, they are a match for what we put into the world. That sucks when your results aren't what you thought you might have by now.

On the other hand, it suggests one only needs to adjust to have the right results show up.

Perhaps it is time to be bolder.

I did ask a potential client for a $15,000 retainer. I was worried it might be much, but the response was just an acknowledgment. She's one of a group, how they plan to split I am not worried about.

What We Put in to the World

This holds for our nation as well. We have people who play big victim games because that is what we have put out.

I applied for substitute teaching in Bridgeport today. I need some money. And then I thought if that isn't a little lower level than I am capable of, and possibly in the wrong vertical.

Other

I came home early-ish this evening to have a game with mom. I have patience, but she is slowing down, and that is frustrating. It's the checking and rechecking, and counting and recounting, and it makes me fat: it gives me plenty of time to grab the next thing to nosh on.

I don't get how I gain nine pounds over a Shabbat. Well, it's a new week.

I put bird feed in the feeders before it was light out on Shabbat. When I came home, the feeders were unoccupied. I was surprised. There were a few visitors in the afternoon. There are more now: it's 8:18 and a half after the setting back of most of my clocks. That just reminded me to set the one on the desk next to my desk, the one that holds my printers, which caused me to think of the clock in my bathroom, and now I am thinking of the clocks on the kitchen appliances. Those, and Ricky and Lucy and the one in the basement, and I think this house is done. But this will not be done today.

In good news, I pissed off Keti Shitrit last week. I don't know if it will be enough to cause her to act.

In further good news, I am going to go at the hospitals a little more forcefully. I need to figure out how to make official information requests.

My Israeli ally plays it too close to the vest. I saw an interview with her. She suggests there are people in the background, but she doesn't put me in touch with any of them; so I need to recreate work to establish a pattern.

Ron says I need to bring the Likud a block of votes on this.

The talk at shul this week was about saying yes and heroism, as in a call to. I think most people are still cowards. I think I am a coward.

Mom just called. She could use some company; so I am going over.

I forgot to close the loop. The sander was already at the office, just not where I thought it ought to be.

I wrote a press release today. I don't expect any of the press to pick it up, but it amused me and a few of my friends.

I slept at the office last night. That too made me happy. I replaced an outlet this morning, after putting up a few hundred more campaign posters. I think the campaign is done even if I haven't hit all of the district. I just walk around a lot. I don't think it will change the results one jot. I don't know where my vocabulary comes from, but I knew that word was right there.

I got my insurance reinstated; so that is good too.

I have had about two and a half hours since Shabbat. I mowed the lawn Tuesday, maybe Wednesday, it's not worth looking back to find out. Putting away the ramps I got a poke into my finger. I figured it was a splinter, but couldn't get anything out. I ended up with a little lump from picking at it, and finally gave up. I figured it would come out if that's what it was. Then I caught exactly that spot on the metal edge of an outlet in my office as I was pulling out telephone cable, and tore whatever it was open again, but nothing came out. Now we are in to the Halloween challenge; so tonight I am going to row. My feet were dry, so I started putting on bag balm to soften them up a little. It softened up my hand too, enough so that the splinter just kind of slivered out, which is good because it would have made rowing less comfortable.

The weighted hands do not bother me yet, but they felt really good walking, though gloves or mittens might have been nice. It was about 40° Fahrenheit. When I took the weights off and held both in one hand, it felt a little much.

I overslept and went to the second minyan, which I ditched after kedusha in mussaf to join our shiur. I ate plenty at the second kiddush, and the Sephardi kiddush. Mom came by this afternoon as I was walking Asher up to Chabbad. She and Dahlia saw me on the road and I turned back and had a half a game of Canasta with mom before Miriam showed up. Dahlia chose not to stay.

Mom is slowing down a little. She made it through two games of Wizard, and had enough. She couldn't sit so well.

When they arrived, I mentioned that the Coleman cooler by the door was hers. It wasn't that I needed her to take it, it just was. When they left, it was important for her to take it. She even tried to pick it up as she was going out. She needs a hand to get down my stairs anyway. I think it is the sudden, too intense emphasis on a thing.

Then in the car, she asked what was in a bag. It was the asparagus that Miriam had bought her. The stalks were thin. Her voice when she said “but I like them thick” was that of a disappointed child, like ‘this isn't the treat you promised.’ It was just sad.

I made a new friend this week, but I can't tell you her name, another lawyer dealing with another trans child. She feels her husband is an enabler. She's a pistol. She put me in touch with Dr. Grossman. It's just good to be a little more connected there.

I have a busy week coming up. I should probably get my posts figured out today.